In case you don’t know, I’ve done elderly and hospice care for 20+ years. This has been the most rewarding and honorable job I’ve ever had. I wish I had started writing a book many years ago. It would’ve been full of many laughs, crazy stories I’ve heard and yes, a lot of sadness. The sadness is all worth it when I consider what these people have taught me. When an elderly person dies, it’s as if an entire library has burnt to the ground. They may be old and feeble but they have a wealth of knowledge; if only people would take the time to just listen to their stories. The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person!
I had one lady with severe dementia who asked the same question 15 times an hour, every hour of the day. Those days teach you patience, if nothing else will. She would also “escape” the house, climb the horse fence and be on her merry way down the road, if you weren’t on your toes at all times. I took her out to lunch with my family several times. One particular day between the ride to the restaurant and the end of lunch, she was fixed on birthdays and ages of everyone. When asked how old she was several times, she always gave a different answer ranging from 38 – 87. Bless her heart!
Another memorable hilarious story……..I had a man who was pretty much non verbal with dementia. One morning after breakfast, I went to take a shower. When I finished, I swung the shower curtain open only to find him sitting right in front of me on the toilet. I shut the curtain real fast, assured that he really didn’t even know what was going on. I reached out and got my towel off the sink, wrapped up and said “Jack, I’m coming out”. I ran to my room and got dressed real fast, I was sitting down in the living room when he walked out and I’m sure he didn’t remember what had happened………….thankfully!
One very special lady I took care of was 99 when, I got her; I have known her my entire life. She was an animal lover but she especially loved cats. She would go out every morning and feed the birds. I used to take my little dog, Bojangles, to work with me and she always told me that if anything ever happened to me, she would take care of my dog. There is a picture of her with Bojangles in a previous blog.
One day there was a roller coaster on TV and she said she liked roller coasters. Then she threw the big one at me. She said she wanted to go zip lining. I was shocked that she even knew what a zip line was. So with her two daughters blessing, I took her zip lining. She loved it and you can hear her squealing like a kid with delight in the video. She is now 104 and wants to go again. We shall see!
I had the pleasure of taking care of two brothers (not at the same time). They were as different as night and day but one thing they had in common was their love of music. At the time I had both of them, my son, RJ, was in a band. I took both of them to see him play numerous times. Several times RJ came to their houses to play for them. They really enjoyed it. Jack (mentioned earlier in this blog) again, was virtually non verbal but when RJ played a song he knew, he would tap his foot and do his best to sing. His favorite was “I Saw the Light” and he definitely knew the words. In fact, the night he died, I sang that song as he passed from his earthly home.
Currently I have two very special people I have taken care of for 3 years. Red is 89 and Eloise is 97. There is never a dull moment with these two. Eloise reminds me a lot of Mamaw and that’s a huge reason why I love her so much.
The most important thing about caregiving is to love and nurture these precious souls. Sometimes we are all they have and even if they have family, we take the family’s place when they can’t be there for numerous reasons. They are family to me and I’d like to think that they think of me as their extended family.
About 4 years ago, I had a very nice retired plastic surgeon who lived on a beautiful horse ranch. He was a character. He loved the Chicago Cubs and enjoyed all baseball. I took him to an Indians game one day and in the 3rd inning, he said “are we ready to go”? If you know me, asking me to leave a baseball game early would be like asking me to roof a skyscraper in the middle of a tornado. NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Well, I couldn’t tell Doc no so we slowing made our way the long way out and as slow as we both walked, I think it was the end of the 6th inning when we finally walked out of the park. Oh well such is life…………..baseball games are a dime a dozen in my life!